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a very relaxed, sleepy saturday morning to you as well.

I’ve been thinking.  I mostly like my life here in Spokane.

I am kind of disappointed in myself for not seeing through Sam’s bullshit shenanigans.  but my dad had just left for arizona.  so I was sad and needed to be diverted…  I’ve been questioning my judgment – there was the roommate drama at the old house.  I trusted those gals and thought we were friends and that they wouldn’t treat me like shit.  oops!  then there’s Sam.  I did not see the anger stuff coming.  or the stalking me at my americorps graduation and chatting up my mother.  !!!  the sooner I never see him again, the better.

my job has more or less ended.  I might volunteer for the newspaper, but my hours are complete and I will get my final paycheck monday!  woot!

I got my final timesheet signed.  woot.  I will take it over to the americorps office and my dear buddy Steve will so my exit paperwork.  then, I should be able to be entered into the program, the new one.

I’m switching from Americorps state/national (which pays $1050 per month) to Americorps VISTA, which pays $833? a month.  I don’t think I’ll be paying off al ot of bills this year like I hoped.  but I went int thinking “any port in a storm” and “this is a great organization and it’s worth a pay cut to work there” and “I’m giving the economy 10 months to recover enough for me to get a job in a non-profit.”

yes, friends.  voluntary poverty.  I wouldn’t say I’m poor – because I have a master’s degree and I was raised in a middle class environment and I have lovely pasty white skin.  and nice teeth (a la braces) but I’m not going to have a lot of cash this year, trufax.

I actually had a really nice conversation with my boss last night.  as an exit interview goes, it was pretty chill.  we were at her house, in her home office.  we talked about projects I succeeded on this year.  things which were coming up for the organization.  she needs more infrastructure.  which is to say, she absolutely cannot do it all by herself.  and none of her kids has the journalistic passion, skills, or desire to take over her business.  which is kind of sad.  I would hate to see the newspaper die.  it does need to change some, but I would hate to see it die.

I do (and told her so) admire her for having found her vocation, stuck with it.  I admire her because she found work she loves to do, created a niche and stuck with it…  she does something she loves to do, every day.  she has a whole body of life’s work, in the library!  it’s pretty amazing.  (but too many of her articles sound the same, I think.  I think she would do well to have a challenge, a different perspective.)  I would love to write a blog for the Fig Tree website.  hell, I might even get some readers.

I feel so absent-minded vocationally that I just don’t know what to do with myself.  I still wonder if I should be a minister – but without christianity?  how can a person be a minister without religion?  (and if you say UU – there’s been enough drama in the local UU church I’ve been taking a badly needed break.)

so.  yeah.  thinky-thoughts.

I have a job starting Tuesday!  I should probably go somewhere this weekend to get away….

but I think I will clean my house, practice guitar, move the nordic track out of my car and into the exercise room ( I’m looking at you, please…)

and maybe gasp!  vacuum.  the house needs it.  and the house needs to be de-cluttered.  I clutter everything when things get stressful or when transitions happen.

so yeah. (I watched Friday Night Lights season three last night.  it’s kind of nice that Tim Riggins is growing up, eh?)

happy saturday flisties!  I hope it’s all that you need it to be.

4 thoughts on “a very relaxed, sleepy saturday morning to you as well.”

  1. our new Vegas minister felt the same way. the UUs wouldn’t have her for her Christ-y talk, and the United Church of Christ wouldn’t let her go past a seder during the holidays from Christ-y-ness.

    UUs like any religion expect their ministers to be able to up and relocate. can’t you just be an assistant minister? the kind they shuffle off to hospitals or have counsel people? or you could be a chaplain!!! YOU COULD! SO MUCH FUN! except for the dead ppl. yeah.

    meh. I thought I was poor working for AmeriCorps… but somehow I did fine off 6,000 and now I make twice that but since I can’t spend any of it bcuz it’s all going to deadppl school… WAH.

    I feel especially prepared for nonprofit professional life because of City Year. but I know a little deadppl experience will go a looooong way on eventually working for a nonprofit funeral home/cemetery/bereavement org. I just hate the wait. I’ve been waiting for shit since college prep began in middle school. gah.

    tick tock tick tock 😉

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    1. ummm…. ministry? maybe? ministry in a church? hells no!

      I’m kinda done with churches. possibly. we’ll see. I just think some churches have people who behave atrociously and expect …. me to put up with it. which I won’t.

      you have to have 4 units of CPE to be a chaplain. (clinical pastoral education) I only have one. which was not bad, except the cpe supervisor hated me and that was the summer my mom got diagnosed with cancer… not the best time ever. I loved working at a hospital though. and I loved talking with patients. it was awesome. the introspection? kinda killed me.

      you know – moritican school will happen for you. if it’s not the right time, or place… you can continue taking classes online.

      hospice is awesome. the one I worked for had a terribly toxic office environment (horrible, really) but most of the people who did clinical work were out in the field/not in the office. so…

      ummm…. I forgot my point. anyway. hospice is awesome and you should do it.

      what’s City Year? you started college prep in middle school? nice. I don’t think I went to middle school (it was just elementary/high school back in the day…)

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      1. that sucks! I have had such good experiences with hospice work–but I DID first start volunteering at a hospice in Arkansas that I learned about through an atheist meetup attendee who kinda HATED her co-workers because they prayed ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Her emphasis.

        City Year is the largest AmeriCorps program, and it was the model AmeriCorps was actually founded on. It made me really happy to see pictures of Ted Kennedy wearing his red CY jacket.

        I did the chainsaw crew with Nevada Conservation Corps before my senior year of college. I knew after I graduated that I HAD to do AmeriCorps, but this time… maybe with toilets. So I applied to CY and hit the ‘serve anywhere’ button. And they placed me in Rhode Island where I had the hardest/worst yet BEST year of my life.

        I’ve always worked on a team-based AC program. I kinda feel bad for how disconnected VISTAS and office-based workers like you tend to feel. Of course, it’s not as much of a letdown. I lost a dozen best friends every year 😦

        I think AC is a much better prep for life than school. I actually heard about AC because a boy on the good ol flist started writing this amazing shit–he dropped out of high school to do CY, got his GED and money to go to a rockin’ school. My middle school though the best way to get us into college was forcing us to use wasteful and unhelpful note-taking ‘skills’.

        This EXACT thing is why I am SO PISSED they are canceling Reading Rainbow–Bush era policies that insisted educational shows had to teach testable shit instead of INSPIRING a LOVE of learning.

        Randomly–I wonder how those ‘learn at your own pace’ schools are doing in VT. I bet they do just as well if not better as these poor kids who have to do phonics and all that shit.

        /rant. we DO seem to forget our points. LOVE!

        (lots of coops in VT. 😉

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      2. http://www.marriagefriendlycommunities.org/

        I forget where I read the article (so many news sources in the interwebs) but this – marriage friendly communities – was mentioned in passing as one of those pro-marriage programs that the bush administration pushed through instead of funding school and food programs. (e.g. single parents are the problem – not “systemic poverty” – so lets give money to untested programs with no measurable results instead of feeding and giving shelter etc. to kids!)

        like punishing the poor for being poor. which happens a lot in this country. (and I’m looking at you, OVERDRAFT FEES)

        Reading Rainbow was after my time. although I know it’s a much beloved program. with Geordi LaForge dude (what is his name?)

        I’m glad you had really great experiences. I think it’s often true that “the best” and “the most difficult” and “the hardest” times can kinda get all lumped together in memory.

        I hardly trust my memory anymore…

        I wanna write stuff down…

        I’m not sure what is great “prep for life.” because life is one of those continuous things. it’s now AND later AND a while ago. so….

        feh. COFFEE…

        😛

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