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listy things

1.  get a job.

2.  actually go to the job that I have instead of spending HOURS looking for other jobs online.  or worrying. 

3.  threaten with violence try not to hate too much the person/persons unknown who made the national Americorps website SO DAMN DIFFICULT to find jobs in SPOKANE.  (I hate you – but I will refrain from violence cause I don’t know who you are.)

4.  let my middle finger heal from the cut I gave it yesterday.  missed the damn cantaloupe.  shoulda got stitches.  (but healthcare is so expensive and I didn’t want to go to the ER.  what a shitty feeling.)  but it’s better now.  I just have a big ass bandage on my finger.  people have understood I’m not giving them the finger.  I’m just you know, keeping it elevated.

5.  BREATHE.  not smoke.  BREATHE.

6.  Vacation flippin Bible School.  How did I get roped into this again?  Oh.  they’re paying me. 

7.  EAT.  I have trouble eating both when it’s this hot (95.5 degrees, zero humidity) and when I get this nervous.  I buy yoghurt and protein shakes.  I get hungry.  I just don’t eat.

7A.  buy yoghurt and protein shakes.

8.  break up with Sam.  deal with Sam’s immature …. okay.  so he broke up with me on facebook after I broke up with him in person.  seeing it on Facebook made it more real.  and more strange.  does anyone besides  think that’s wierd?  I know you bunners. 

9.  take care of hyper dawg. 

10.  try not to get heat stroke. 

11.  get gas into car.  pay bills.  drop off americorps timesheet.

12.  give  a going away party (he’s going to seminary for some reason.  I tried that.  it will undoubtedly work better for him.)  if that’s what he wants.

IS ANYONE ELSE FREAKING OUT OR IS IT JUST ME???????

12 thoughts on “listy things”

  1. 1. you are awesome

    2. the day after I determined I needed stitches and summarily dismissed them on my uninsured ass, Walgreens pharamcy chain left a flyer on our front gate announcing new dermabond services available–a visit to their nurse practitioner being about $70 and a trip to the ER/quickcare being $150-300.

    cry.

    2 a. As an AmeriCorps volunteer at the Arkansas Children’s Hospital I was trained in the art of making finger casts! All you need are plaster strips, gauze and tequila!

    3. OMG I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT though I dilute the urgency of my epic freakout with previous minor freakouts I have peppered my life with the last 6 months. I assume this is happening as some kind of AmeriInduced PTSD.

    4. I am going to start knitting tomorrow to occupy myself on the commute rather than wasting energy letting my brain chase its own tail like a schizophrenic hamster. it’s healthy AND productive–I want to be STOCKPILED by chrismahanzakwannakuh. plus I might coughhave3boxesofyarncough. all leftover from college.

    4 a. I SUCK at knitting–I was a hardcore crocheter until I met the knitting loom. then I became addicted this last holiday season, though I only finished a slytherin scarf/hat set for a friend and a hat for the baby.

    5. now time to return to the soothing vice of fanfic!

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    1. thanks for the listy support and encouragement.

      ugh…. sucks about your stitches… on yer ass? yes. the reason I idn’t get stitches is because the emergent care places were all closed (after 6pm on a sunday…) and I just decided I couldn’t afford a trip to the ER. even WITH my crappy health insurance.

      I might have been overreacting. looking at it after it’s healed a little bit – it might have taken two stitches. maybe. I just freaked out when it wouldn’t stop bleeding.

      and yes. you need something to do besides worry when you travel to philly.

      are you training? planing? driving? oh I guess not driving.

      why not crochet again? if it’s easier for you, why the hell not? I like knitting and I haven’t learned yet to crochet. but all is well. I’ve taken the summer off kinda. but I too want to have a stockpile by festivus. which I don’t really celebrate. I rather dread. but other people will likely be expecting gifts. yeah yeah.

      indeed. take me to sleep, FANFIC!

      all great ventures require some adjustment. maybe I should choose to call it “adjustment” instead of “freaking out.” that might work.

      😛

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      1. actually I sliced open my knee on glass and bruised most of the side of my body. I’m just worried that years from now a chunk of glass will spit itself out of my body and go HAH.

        most of my freaking out has to do with how I do not have money to move to Pittsburgh. I really thought it would happen, that I could MAKE it happen somehow, magically. but there’s just no money, no loans going through. I e-mailed the registrar about switching to the on-line program and have not heard back from her. in the meantime my contract came in as a classroom-based student and I am like OMGOMGOMG.

        now, the worst that can happen is what, they say no and I’m out the $30 application fee? I’m in deferment until like March so I can just take some classes in the spring.

        but how depressing that I get all excited to do this–in my heart, when I got accepted to the Peace Corps I definitely had a moment of “but oh no, I want to GET ON with my life and go to deadpplschool!”. and then I decided to just go for it and now I may be stuck in a massive life rut of not getting to do EITHER the Peace Corps OR deadpplschool.

        sigh. I know, it’s boring and stupid when I type it out like this. but in my head it’s OMGOMGOMG. of course, in my head I had the “attack of the killer tomatoes” theme song stuck in there for HOURS today 😉

        what a scary place me head is!

        anyway, I discovered the knifty knitter loom where you just whip out these perfect hats and scarves and fell in LOO-OOOVE because knitting was counting counting count-fuck I dropped a stitch! which, we talked about my brain recently, that much activity is kinda a bad scene for it. and I can crochet anything, make any 3D shape without a pattern, but an even rectangle with perfectly woven stripes? yeah no.

        actually, the loom makes a tube so I just hide my stripe ends inside. sneaky!

        yeah I guess fanfic meets that need for the bedtime story at any age. stories are comforting–what else do you teach at vacation bible school but storytime? *innocent grin* ‘And God came down and She said ‘little Bunny Fufu I don’t wanna see you…’

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      2. hahaha!

        egad. sorry about the cut. that sounds DIRE.

        ummm… I hope that the mortician school works out. really. I think the phrase is “exigent circumstances” and if your mom’s health has taken a turn for the worse and you have crazy family to hold together… ummm… yeah. hop to that.

        so I didn’t “get fired” from the youth leader job. we just “agreed, both parties” that it would be best if I resigned. the best part? I still got to go to the baseball game for free, and I used the VBS hours as Americorps hours. cause I’m still behind. *sigh* so that’s like 16 hours or so. AND they’re going to pay me. which is wierd.

        “oh hey, can you work this week?” next week: “it’s really just not working out.” which was strange. but I get a fat $120 or so check. which I’m going to need because the community-minded job is a VISTA job, which will pay ass and I will struggle even more to pay bills. woe.

        god came down and said, “ummm…. dudes. you didn’t need to kill my son so badly. really, the tickle feathers would have been fine! fucken romans!!!”

        I want to get back to knitting. I want to also make pretty blankets for babies and hats. I don’t know how ot go in thr round yet…

        ummm… yeah….

        hugs! did you hear back about your job yet?

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      3. yeah, I tidied that up last week when my family went fucking crazy. I’m deferred until Spring, and probably I will e-mail them again and be deferred until Fall. we will see.

        I don’t know what to do for my niece, since I don’t have money. Also, I’ve been telling her to cut the financial umbilical cord for YEARS. She’s on the list to get low-income government apartment in a nice area close by, so I got summer plasticware–a pitcher with tumblers, a mixing bowl and cereal bowls for like 30 cents on clearance. Happy housewarming?

        …yeah.

        here’s the positive thing about VISTA: preferential hiring for federal jobs upon graduation!

        I have a UU friend who got to work summers at the ticket window to Lake Mead Nat’l Recreation Area because her mom worked for the BLM. She amassed a decent GS level doing this throughout college and was able to transfer to a great job (well, I think she hates her fundy Christian coworkers) and it drives me nuts–just think if you had a job like that!

        AmeriCorps teaches us so well to live off NOTHING that if you are able to land a government job–what, 35-55,000 a year after living on 12,000? In one year you could live off a comfortable income of 20,000 and have enough to buy a luxury sports car. Or pay off a house in a few years.

        That kinda power goes straight to your head!

        Or just mine. mwahahaha ‘take over the world’ and all that. Hmm, maybe if my chipmunk Theodore Halloween costume turns out I can consider being Brain (of Pinky fame) next year. ;D

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      4. that is sweet for your friend…. government jobs – really? they are worth having?

        yes. I am concerned about bill-paying. I might open up a dog-sitting service. my mom pays $15 a day – I stay over, check in during the day, and feed the pupper and the kitteh in the mornings and evenings. and go to the dog park, occasionally.

        it’s a good job. which has saved my ailing bank account many times. maybe I should just tell my mom to travel more… (muuuwaahahahahaha!)

        I support you dressing up for Halloween.

        I don’t know what I’ll be. I’ll probably throw a tarts & vicars party. dress-up for the win!

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      5. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday…which is fun when you don’t have a sweet tooth!

        Yeah, many a time has my eBay/Amazon account saved my ass financially. It’s always been good for an odd hundred or two. here and there.

        But in college I lived in Reno, a truly god awful place. And I had nothing better to do than troll the 50% off weekends at the thrift stores and find AH-MAY-zing crap to resell.

        Well, I’m gonna go take pics now of stuff to sellllllllllll *crosses fingers*

        don’t worry. one day we will be grown-ups. this will probably happen the week before we are eligible for social security. eh. *shrugs*

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      6. is selling stuff on ebay lucrative?

        one … no… my FIRST ebay experience happened with my friend Mal, who is also my co-worker. I didn’t know him very well, and he was bidding on a pair of (I shit you not) LEDERHOSEN. when he finally won them, for like $250 (moar I shit you not) he asked what size he was – I said he was a 38. he honestly asked me what HIS PANT SIZE was. he ordered the 36. guess what? too small.

        this is just one of many instances where fool shoulda listened to ME!!!!!

        you should come up for the Halloween party.

        hugs, nanner

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      7. yeah, I’ve done very, VERY well on eBay, though amazon.com is a lot steadier.

        I almost killed my sister with my brain over the phone. She was “liek ur still unemployed? wish I had known, I woulda put u on the job lolz”.

        she was here fucking YESTERDAY fucking knows I’m unemployed for the next month at least most likely, but it didn’t penetrate her self-focus. what this means is that Crazy, fucking Crazy made 1,000 in the last 4 days getting paid 25-100 an hour to broom construction debris. I’ve done that work for 8 A DAY.

        I know I said nepotism is bad, but I think I could handle 4 days for 1000. pfft.

        I can only hope this means he has money to get the fuck out, but really this just means he has more $ to throw at drag queens. sigh.

        we need to go into drug dealing. no, arms dealing. what else makes such ridic money these days? I should start selling artwork. gah.

        ok. at least I’m not all fucked up anxiety wise. except every time I try to call the unemployment office, every 20 minutes today to hear beep beep beep beep. Vegas supposedly has the highest unemployment rate in the country. don’t know if that’s true, but it sounds right. *headdesk*

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      8. is there an office that you can go to? a website? cause the phone = teh annoying.

        I’m really sorry. I don’t know who has the highest unemployment rate in the country, but it’s pretty bad everywhere…

        feh. your sister needs a good smacking. your brother needs to spend less time tipping drag queens? really?

        drug and arms dealing, while highly lucrative money-wise, often involve moral conundra: like killing people, selling drugs to pregnant women, etc etc etc. and arms? feh. I’ve seen too many movies to want to be a woman in that business.

        artwork? that would be awesome. except nobody except the FILTHY rich has any money to buy art these days.

        and they are a pretty elite club.

        best stick to bartending. tourist-pandering-to…

        hang in there babe.

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      9. nope, Vegas is officially The Unemployment and Entertainment Capital!

        yeah, you can only file claims on-line or over the phone, and because I was stationed in CO last year: no dice. I am required to call. beep beep beep beep…

        and what actions do we make that do NOT have huge moral repercussions? because I try to be consumer conscious, but I still buy things that inadvertently support conservative lobbies, 3rd and 1st world life-fucking initiatives.

        but yeah. I think bartending is my next best bet! My sister made BANK for years, but then some drunk set her knee-length hair on fire and she never emotionally recovered 😉

        I should start a paper-mill for engineering and cs students. Ace liberal arts for only $35 per 5 page paper! Some papers may include “ur j/k srsly!”.

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