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more messages from the universe…

hi from day five…

I *really* wanted some wine or whiskey last night when I got home at 7pm from a long day. my friend mike, whose house I go to after work on tuesdays to hang out, asked me, "would you like an adult beverage?" he makes the most lovely martinis – like vodka with special sauce, cause I don’t know what’s in them usually, but they are strong. I was reminded of weeks past, when I enjoyed his lovely question-mark-tinis, and then went home and had a bunch more to drink… I told him that I was giving up the sauce for a while, and why (it has felt out of control for a long time) and he said, congratulations. anything I can do to help.

he’s married to an also-dear friend, and we’ve had many conversations about his marriage, my firm stance of not being a marriage-interrupter. so, that said, we snuggled on his couch and watched king of the hill and the simpsons. it was totally nice. he can be my "surrogate boyfriend" for a while until I get one of my own. he’s a really good dude. we talked about his weekend, my weekend. I finally broke down and watched twilight. SPARKLY MORMON VAMPIRES, OMG. DUDE. I couldn’t stop laughing. (mike vows never to watch.)   I could say, really, that I want to support Washington-made films, because it’s filmed in Forks, WA. but I really watched it because of  !   damn you rosary!!!!!

then I went home, started cooking (pretty much everything I cook is some variation on mac&cheese), and thought about how harmless it would be to have ONE glass of wine while cooking… then decided against it because lately, I haven’t been able to have JUST ONE… so I drank juice! and cut vegetables. I find cutting vegetables to be very relaxing. and listened to my playlist "kane nathanson carlson" on my ipod.

casserole turned out beautiful. I used cream of brocoli soup as a base, so it kind of came out as a "st patrick’s day" themed’ green. somehow the food I make manages to look really gross, yet taste really good. I need to work on my presentation. yepper.

I watched "the mod squad" on demand. I KNOW. it’s not a terrific film by many standards (it meets the eye-candy-standard), but I enjoyed it all the same. a little reward for myself…

also… will post later about how much money I’ve spent on booze in the past few months… I’m prepared to be scared/startled. but not to waver.

ETA:  $ 420.65 since January 10, 2009 by trackable expenses via online statements.  it excludes all cash payments, and might include some food.  So I figure it evens out.  That’s about $112 per month on booze, and I make $930 after taxes.  which means 11% of my monthly income.  which grace-fully now, can go to worthier causes (like finding sexy clothes or getting back in shape.)

comments are e-love…

There isn’t a moment in any day, anna , when someone, somewhere, isn’t better off because of something you’ve done.

And no matter what you do, or don’t do, with the rest of your life, you cannot now comprehend the amounts of love, joy, and personal assistance that are already being pressed out to you in gratitude.

Must be nice,
The Universe

6 thoughts on “more messages from the universe…”

  1. Congrats on Day Five! Food and booze go together for lots of people…here’s a question, what makes it hard to drink? Often people find that physical exercise or scheduling something sooperfun early in the morning means they feel they need to not drink in order to be primed for that activity. So it supports the not-drinking to find something you love that makes drinking inconvenient. Sorry if you are not looking for advice – take what works and feel free to ignore what doesn’t!

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    1. I would say for me, the evenings are the hardest. also, cooking with a glass of wine has been something my mother has done since the 80’s, so I have a sense that that is “okay.” ummm…. also, I like to cook, and I like to drink a glass of something while I cook. (not that I’m … you know … super good at cooking or anything…)

      I think it would be better for me to do something in the evenings – like have scheduled things which don’t involve the drinking, to keep a better idea of it. I think I’m going to go to rollerderby tonight.

      which will be exercize, and awesome new friends.

      I don’t know. I’m kind of making things up as I go along. but I’ve got the resolve… I guess. I was going to write power, but I didn’t wanna get all hubris-filled.

      thanks for the advice-y thoughts. what you do for a living? SUPER-RELEVANT here…

      thanks very much, anna

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  2. I am so happy that you saw sparkly mormon vamps! Except I feel guilty because lesser things have driven people to drink ;D

    Actually, who am I kidding. I don’t think I COULD watch Twilight again without drinking myself silly. The things I do for love. *headdesk*

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    1. oh hi! I forgot to answer you. ummm…

      I have to agree that less things have driven people to drink.

      last night my dad & I were having a smoke on the front porch, and our neighbors came by – we live in sort of a townhouse development – and one of them had Twilight in his hand. we talked about it – I asked him, “Are oyu gonna read that nonsense?” and he said, “umm… no, it’s for somebody else!”

      they hadn’t heard that everyone else calls them MORMON vampires! so we had a nice laugh about that!

      anyway. I’m traumatized by the film. SPARKLES. but I’m better now. I’ve seen Underworld: a REAL vampire film. I’m better now.

      I will check out Trueblood when it comes out on dvd.

      😛

      hugs!

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      1. I’ve only seen Rise of the Lycans. I think they’re all pretty bad. My favorite vampire movies are Blade III and Queen of the Damned, so you can get a feel for my taste for badness.

        ULTIMATE BADNESS FTW!

        ok, ok. I’m only typing this nonsense so I don’t have to work on my final. I’m going to generate a pile of pure crap the requisite pages long the day before it’s due. and I’m going to hand it in, because I cannot possibly get a bad grade in this class. BUTSTILL: FINALSOMGWTFBBQ!!!111

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      2. ummmm…. I’ve not seen Blade 3 nor Queen of the Damned. hmmm… I’m thinking thinkey thoughts.

        and I did see the unrated/extended edition of Underworld: which made me actually appreciate the theatrical version much better. and watching it sober was like. “hmmm…. the vampires HISS. the lycans GROWL. ummm…. yeah this is totally boring. dude you JUST TOTALLY MISSED THAT GUY IN THE FIGHT SCENE WITH THE UN-LANDED PUNCH. *sigh*”

        which is fine. I get to actually remember the endings of the television shows I like!

        lemme unpack your CAPSLOCK-Anagram:

        finals oh my god what the f*ck barbeque?

        well done. well done, my dear. I am not actually a fan of bbq unless it’s sweet and made by someone from the south who understands bbq should have a *small* amount of tang. and a *small* amount of happy spices. but it should mostly be blended effortlessly so that your palette kind of has many pleasant experiences, none of which is particuarly alarming.

        ummm… most people don’t know how to do that.

        anyway: WORK ON YOUR FINAL. at least MAKE AN EFFORT. do me proud! yay for studying!

        (*lurks off to read Pride & Prejudice & Zombies*)

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