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mawh?

hi dee ho here.

interesting article.  I’m confused about Judith Warner though.

warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/25/poor-sarah/

it is kind of an act of cruelty to sarah herself.  pity she didn’t have the foresight to say, "hey maybe next election cycle?"

do any of my fantabulous feminist friends know what she’s talking about when she says, "imposterdom"?

I honestly don’t know what to make of this.

article quote: 

"You don’t have to be perennially pretty in pink — and ditsy and cutesy and kinda maybe stupid — to have an inner Elle Woods. Many women do. I think of Elle every time I dress up my insecurities in a nice suit. So many of us today — balancing work and family, treading water financially — feel as if we’re in over our heads, getting by on appearances while quaking inside in anticipation of utter failure. Chick lit — think of Bridget Jones, always fumbling, never quite who she should be — and in particular the newer subgenre of mom lit are filled with this kind of sentiment.

You don’t have to be female to suffer from Impostor Syndrome either — I learned the phrase only recently from a male friend, who puts a darned good face forward. But I think that women today — and perhaps in particular those who once thought they could not only do it all but do it perfectly, with virtuosity — are unique in the extent to which they bond over their sense of imposture."

presidential debates to night baybee. 
luves. 

9 thoughts on “mawh?”

    1. can splain?

      I don’t get “imposterdom.” is that some weird way of saying that women *should* feel insecure and insufficient all the time?

      that beauty is, in fact, a substitute for talent? HELP!

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      1. Fo me it means……

        Alot of us get through our days by the skin of our teeth. We have so many rolls to play, and not all the resources/tools/emotions/coping skills/etc….. to get the job done correctly. Think about all we do….. Me? Mom, wife, friend, daughter, employee, advocate for education, PTG President, witness, soon to be church member…… just off the top of my head. The energy that it takes to fill all these rolls~!!!! Also, I feel like I need to do all of them 110%. Always a smile on my face. Tough as nails. I am constantly getting complimented at how well I have everything under control. When deep down, I feel like I’m constantly coming apart at the seams. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except, if you don’t know me very well, You’d think that I had it made. Which in a way I do, except my experiences are not always enough to make ME feel like I accomplished 110%. This is random and requires verbal back and forth dialog. I know there is more to this, this is just a fly-by response, before I get dinner on the table and the OffSpring are tearing down the living room. It’s FRIDAY!!!

        My digits: 509-701-0338 ~ K has it, too. In case you would like to use it.

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      2. Re: For me it means……

        thanks mag-min ๐Ÿ™‚
        (abbreviates name and hopes mindi doesn’t take it wrong)

        I just feel like this is some kind of unforeseen consequence of the second wave feminist movement of the 70’s, whose basic premise was “you CAN have your cake and eat it too.” (and the glass ceiling sucks):

        you CAN have a job/career outside the home AND have a family;
        you CAN go on to earn higher education degrees WHILE keeping a house clean and children’s noses non-runny;
        you CAN earn your own money, make your own financial priorities AND keep food in the fridge and clothes on the children.
        you CAN have all this and BE HAPPY TOO. this, indeed, the marriage of children and career, house and work, husband and dinner… all of this will make you happy.

        YET, what has wound up happening is frazzled mom in a mini-van trying to stop all her kids squealing all at once while trying to get three children to their dance/soccer/music lessons before dinner, which she hasn’t made yet… (and won’t have time to make because of said driving around to lessons.)

        and, several other aspects of our culture have not caught up with these premises – men, for example, doing “housework.” men, by and large in our culture, are still expected to be the primary breadwinners; come home from work; open a beer; and sit on the barka-lounger until wifey has made dinner. then he eats dinner wifey has made, does or does not help with the dishes, and the children’s homework, and the putting children to bed etc etc. he is then expected to sit in front of the TV watching programs until bedtime.

        the expectations surrounding men’s roles have not shifted as much as they need to shift for women to be successful in the two fields of homemaker and career woman… instead, the discussions devole to “is changing diapers MANLY?”

        the other thing is, that the number of single parents who are women has skyrocketed in the last 20 years, creating a whole sub-class of poor families without enough resources… emotional, educational, financial resources to deal effectively with life’s problems.

        our culture is sending women the crazy-making message that
        A: someday my prince will come (e.g. I will be married and happy, that is my ultimate life’s goal… despite my masters degree and desires for career etc etc)
        B: a woman’s place is… ??? wherever she wants and choose to be???

        it’s a bafflement to me. I am so delighted that feminists have paved the way for me to NOT be married, to NOT want children. I do not think ill of those who have spouses and children. it’s just not the right choice for me right now.

        yet, how are we, women, shoring each other up and helping each other? calling Sarah Palin an Imposter doesn’t really help much, to me. it just points out this dilemma in stark relief.

        okay. I must dash to therapy. thanks….. mwah.

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      3. Kinda off topic, but not really.

        I have a dream. It’s this little thing called communal living. I think it would solve a ton. First? We need to stop worrying about others mental stuff and take care of our own. Work through what you need to, discard some and get support for the rest. Which comes back to community. It’s a stretch. It will never happen in my lifetime, except I do have community. Albeit small, yet it’s there and I call upon it when I need it.

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      4. Re: Kinda off topic, but not really.

        yeah, well. we kind of have that here at our house.

        I think to do the whole walden thing, we might need to buy property… land, I mean. but then it might end up like m night shamalammadingdong’s “the village.”

        ya never know… ๐Ÿ™‚

        but you’re right. we do each need to work on our own stuff as well create some space for others to do the same.

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  1. I’m thinking she means the phenomena where educated professional women tend to feel like an imposter, that they shouldn’t have the job/life they have and that some one may come along and discover that she isn’t really competent enough to do what she does.

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    1. so scary

      is that sometimes true for everyone, though? like, uhh… people who suffer from depression (many millions undiagnosed?)

      the author of the article says, I think, that a man brought it up to her, initially? like it’s something men feel too? maybe men who are depressed???

      I don’t know. thanks – this just baffled me…

      Like

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