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paid some bills

hi.  *WHEW*

I was worried I’d have to go through collections…  *sigh.*

so I paid some bills.  a very rewarding feeling, to have the ones and zeroes in my account actually total something I can pay some bills with.  fewer angry letters coming at me every month.  it occurs to me that I actually enjoy signing my signature….  that I hadn’t done so in a while.  it was a strange feeling.  having had no money to pay bills, no occasion to sign my signature….  wierd.  It feels better with bills paid, but I’m still $150, I think, behind on my sprint bill.  *loathes sprint.*  I will have some money next week because I worked last weekend catering.  for $9 per hour.  I think I need help.  filling out online applications (especially when they don’t work thank you americorps) gives me mondo anxiety.  but I just need to do it. 

thanks.  gawd.  yes, my god is actually spelled "gawd."  sometimes it’s other names…. 

it’s been a little anxiety/depression battle this week.  mostly, a carry over from last week.  holding my breath until the money came in from the mass-casualty evaluation I did for the national guard on the seventh anniversary of september 11.  my first role as a paid actor.  πŸ™‚  I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath that much.  but I can exhale now.  put some bills in the mail. 

*register to vote* if you haven’t already. 

much loves, anna

ps.  been listening to meditation tape by Belleruth Naparstak.  it’s been helping.  πŸ™‚ 

2 thoughts on “paid some bills”

  1. Money stuff ~ yuck. I’m with you, there.

    I spell Gawd that way, too. It’s my “meet in the middle”. I would prefer to say Goddess, except I feel like a poser.

    I’m registered. Check.

    I listened to Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”. It help me bunches. If I can get them back from my dad, I’ll burn you a copy. *squeeze*

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    1. fanks

      fanks. it’s nice to know I’m not the only one…

      I planned out bills for next month too, this morning. I’ll be okay bills-wise if I make $900. it seems like an impossible amount of money to me right now, but that’s okay I suppose. it won’t be all at once…

      πŸ™‚ fanks for squeezes πŸ™‚

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